Vulnerability is Not Weakness - It's Why Our Patients Trust Us | 人妻中出视频 of Utah 人妻中出视频

Vulnerability is Not Weakness - It's Why Our Patients Trust Us

Sep 27, 2021

Dentist Gary Lowder has spent the past 36 years working with patients who suffer from jaw disorders that result in chronic pain. As faculty in the School of Dentistry, he鈥檚 passing along the power of vulnerability as a patient trust-building exercise with his trainees.

By Gary W. Lowder | 4 Minutes

When I was a general dentist in Montpelier, Idaho鈥攎ore than 45 years ago鈥擨 had three patients with debilitating jaw pain. I had good success treating the problem for two, but not the third. I had to figure out why it didn鈥檛 work for that person, and that pathway eventually led me to further study, research, limiting my private practice to temporomandibular disorders (TMD) for the next 36 years, and now continuing to treat TMD patients at the 人妻中出视频 of Utah School of Dentistry.

In dental school in the 1970s I remember the instructors gathering on the first day saying, 鈥淟ook to your right, look to your left. In four years, one of you won鈥檛 be here.鈥� The goal was to weed out students who didn鈥檛 reach the school鈥檚 defined standard of 鈥減erfection,鈥� whatever that meant. That pervasive attitude and pursuit of perfection created a culture of unrealistic expectations. We gradually adopted the belief that as health care providers we must have all the answers and rise to any challenge; otherwise we will look vulnerable or weak.

I want to discuss vulnerability among health care professionals, and why it鈥檚 not a bad thing.

Vulnerability is not a weakness

Dental and medical training programs are not easy. We train students to be systematic, accurate, precise, and focused on one small part of a person鈥檚 mouth or body to identify what鈥檚 wrong and fix the problem. In dentistry, the patient鈥檚 willingness to lay down (almost in your lap) and allow you to work on such an important and intimate part of their body, takes a lot of trust. It鈥檚 not just one tooth or one part of the body you work on, it鈥檚 a person whose tooth needs treatment. Taking time to build trust is an important part of providing care.

At the same time, providers have to confront tremendous financial pressures. Practice managers want you to cut out unnecessary stuff鈥攃hit-chat with patients that takes up time and doesn鈥檛 pay your bills. But that ignores the critical importance of building trust with your patients.

One of my favorite experts on this topic is Bren茅 Brown, whose lists her as a Vulnerability Researcher. In her TED talk, Listening to Shame, she defines vulnerability as 鈥渆motional risk, exposure, uncertainty,鈥� and 鈥渙ur most accurate measurement of courage鈥攖o let ourselves be seen, to be honest.鈥�

"To me, the power of vulnerability is聽a very important concept that is applicable in dental and medical practice."聽
Gary W. Lowder

HOW TO BE (APPROPRIATELY) VULNERABLE WITH PATIENTS

Some health care providers worry that getting vulnerable with patients is too great a risk. You don鈥檛 want to send the wrong message, so it鈥檚 important to figure out how to put patients at ease without crossing a professional line. Here are some things that work for me:

1. Take time to connect

Connection might be as simple as asking about the patient鈥檚 family and sharing something about your personal life or interests, or making conversation before a procedure or exam.

2. Remember not all patients are the same聽

In some cultures it is not acceptable to come in and immediately touch someone鈥檚 body or start working inside their mouth. Make a habit of first asking permission and making sure the patient is comfortable with your treatment approach.

3. Vulnerability is a two-way street聽

Vulnerability should not be a one-way street. Instead, it is a mutual process of trust between patient and provider. To accomplish it, you must be willing to be vulnerable by letting your human side show through. You don鈥檛 need to be an infallible hero. You must be someone they can trust with the expertise to help with their health concerns.

4. Don鈥檛 be afraid of emotion聽

Bren茅 Brown talks a lot about shame. It鈥檚 something we all experience鈥攁 feeling that there is some side of ourselves that we cannot let other people see, and if those imperfections are exposed we are somehow less worthy of their confidence or trust. I also let patients know I am listening, I hear them, I care, and this is a safe space. They can be free to let go of their fear of being vulnerable in my clinic, which can help release stress that might be contributing to their jaw pain.

"When you shut down vulnerability, you shut down opportunity."
Brene Brown

Ways I connect and support

Over the years I have developed several strategies for connecting and supporting patients:

Ask questions that help you better understand the source of your patients鈥� stress or pain. I have new patients fill out a history form detailing symptoms, timing, personal habits, and respond to a written stress test to start that conversation.
Go deeper when you feel like something is important. For many patients this won鈥檛 seem intrusive; instead it will be a sign that you care enough to ask follow-up questions. For example, if I sense that stress is a factor I ask about what keeps them up at night, what occupies their thoughts each day to get to the root of the problem. I鈥檓 not a therapist, but I can listen.
Encourage self-care. One of my favorite things to do when I have a patient who is spread thin and doesn鈥檛 take enough time for themselves is give them permission to say no to more tasks. I instruct them to say, 鈥淚 can鈥檛, I鈥檓 under doctor鈥檚 orders to say no.鈥� Or I 鈥減rescribe鈥� 30 minutes each day for self-care doing something they really enjoy.
Let the emotions flow. I keep a box of tissues in the operating rooms and tell my patients鈥攎ale and female, although 95% of my patients are female鈥攖hat if they feel like crying and need to let go of some stress, that鈥檚 why we have tissues. For many it鈥檚 a huge relief.

THE ROLE OF SHAME IN PREVENTING VULNERABILITY

In another powerful TED talk, The Power of Vulnerability, Bren茅 Brown says the people who don鈥檛 respond negatively to the experience of shame are those with the courage to be imperfect. 鈥淭hey [have] the compassion to be kind to themselves first, and then to others, because鈥e can鈥檛 practice compassion with other people if we can鈥檛 treat ourselves kindly.鈥�

Shame is something we see in the dental and medical professions, and I believe some of that comes from the historical culture that focused on perfection. Fortunately at U of U 人妻中出视频 that culture has shifted. We know the program is challenging, but I always tell my students that it鈥檚 no accident they are here. They earned the right to be here and need to replace the expectation of perfection with the quest for excellence and make the most of it to leave as a competent, confident dentist.